I was talking to someone a long time ago, okay so it was in 2020 but doesn’t that seem like a million years ago? Anyhoo, she said or maybe I said or maybe we came up with it together but let’s give her the credit, but she said, “No one’s coming to save you.” And every since then I’ve been thinking about all the different ways one could interpret that sentiment.

This past 12 months have been quite a humdinger. That word makes me sound old because, well, I’m not that young. I’m definitely closer to old than young. It’s like we were all standing on the same rug, like millions and millions and millions of people were standing on the same cheap rug you bought on sale that you swore looked more expensive than it was but it turned out to be just a cheap, shitty rug that stained easily and attracted dust and dog hair and that rug got pulled out from underneath us like a magician does with a tablecloth but unlike the dishes on that table when the magician pulls the cloth, we got all brokey and messy and sad and distraught and lost. That was a long run-on sentence that I’m sure will make English teachers cringe but it’s kind of what it was like.

So, what came out of it?
I think it accelerated our culture’s need for a quick fix. Simple solutions. A 20 second, tweet size soundbite that will tell us how we can make it all better. A makeup tutorial that promises that one tube of whatever it is, will make it all better. But here’s the truth or at least what I think. But by all means, please think for yourself. Because after all, that’s what I’m actually asking you to do. I think she was right. No one is coming to save you and I’d add to that, NOTHING is coming to save you. No cleanse, no product to put up your hooha, no diet (although if there’s an all you can eat pizza diet, I’m all in), no guru, no wellness product, and I know this one is rough, but no yoga teacher or Peloton guy is going to save you. No candle party, no sourdough starter, and just to cover all the bases, not even an open marriage will save you.

Some of you might be saying to yourself, “But Cheri, you don’t understand. My blender makes the best smoothies and cleanses are good for my chi…” or maybe you’re thinking about your mantra you wrote on a sticky note that says something about remaining calm in the face of doubters. Hey, I have a panini press. I know what it’s like to REALLY believe in a kitchen appliance but not even a really good sandwich can save you.

I know, I know. But, but, but. The wellness industry, by some estimates is a 4 trillion dollar enterprise and I’m not saying the latest mascara or tights or face cream or exercise app are evil. But if you’re trying to plug the hole in your boat with a cleanse or a seminar or a mantra, you might want to put on a lifejacket. No one and nothing is coming to save you. You’re it. And I totally believe in you. I hope you do too.